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Friday, January 3, 2014

My Nanny D


 
 
This morning I woke up and walked to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out the milk and eggs, went to the counter and grabbed the popover recipe. I added the eggs to the blender and then flour, oil, salt, and milk. I cooked and I cried.




I was so annoyed that they all fell except for the one on the right. It was appropriate because no one will ever make them as good as she did.


After hearing of her passing early this morning I started picking over memories that I have of my Nanny D and am not surprised that most of them involve food.

For years, every Sunday after church we would go to Nanny and Granky's house for lunch. The table would be set with blue Willow ware and no matter what meal, there was always a dish of her homemade butter pickles on the table. During the summer months, there were fresh cucumbers from Granky's  garden sliced up and doused in apple cider vinegar and salt and pepper.

It was a glorious thing to be woken up by the smell of her homemade blueberry muffins on sunny summer mornings at our family camp on Schoodic Lake.

After my grandfather passed away, many of our Sunday lunches were spent at Helen's Restaurant in Machias. Nanny loved her seafood, and all the waitresses knew that she was allowed to have whatever size of any dish she wanted. She loved fried shrimp on top of fettuccine Alfredo, crab stuffed haddock, scallops, haddock with egg sauce, and fried chicken. Chocolate Coconut Graham Cracker, Coconut Cream, and Lemon Meringue were on her favorites list for Helen's pies. But like me, she would've eaten any piece of Helen's pie that was set in front of her.

I remember the day my grandfather died, I stayed the night with her. Her body had been through so much taking care of him in the months before he died, and she was tired. She slept soundly. I did not. The street light was shining through the window and I was sleeping on Granky's side of the bed. It was one of the weirdest nights of my life. I stared at his handsome military picture on the wall and I cried. I would miss him but it was absolutely devastating to me that she would have to live the rest of her life without him. It is one of the cruelest things about life. That we spend a lifetime loving one other person, living for them, caring for them, and then are expected to pick up the pieces and move on when they leave. When I think about it, I can hardly breath. Life is harsh.

I remember the day that I told her Evan would be stationed in Clayton Lake and that I might stay Downeast in our house and go and visit him every other week. She looked at me like I had five heads and said, "Well of course you won't do that. You will go and live with him and be his wife." It was very matter of fact to her, and I was smart to not argue with her that day.

 

Halloween 2013 Mustache, cigar, and blaze orange. Perfection.


I am inspired by her attitude in the last few years. She was a trooper. If she did any sulking it certainly wasn't around any of the people who came to visit her. She had every reason to sulk. Her body started to fail her years ago. One of the things that will haunt me forever is that she was not able to swallow or really taste her food in the last year.

She was steadfast in her faith and it kept her going. She always dressed nice to go to church. I don't remember her singing much, but I knew she liked me to sing. I loved standing next to her and belting it out. I would have to sing for both of us and I was just fine with that.

Today, everything I do will remind me of her. She was a spitfire. She was sassy and had an adorable smirk that paired well with the attitude. She was funny and witty, and at times she was as stubborn as a mule. She was old fashioned like most of her generation. Her nose turned a little towards the sky at my nose ring and tattoos...but only in the kindest way. I can't remember a time when I heard her say a bad word about anyone. She was always smiling and always laughing, even on the worst of days. She had such an awesome laugh. I am so thankful for the woman that she was and for the wonderful example she set. Not many people are able to say that they were able to have a great grandmother in their life for 25 years. Like Granky, she was a staple of our large family, and it will not be the same without her. She will live through the memories she has left with her 3 daughters, 8 grand children, 23 great grandchildren, and 3 great great grandchildren.



Five generation picture at her 85th birthday celebration. It was a week before we would leave for Clayton Lake and a VERY emotional day. She wanted us to sing a few songs and I was supposed to "lead" the singing. It did not go well. I glanced over at her during a verse of Amazing Grace and she was crying and that was it. We both knew it would probably be her last birthday. <3


A scene keeps playing through my mind. Granky is in heaven hiding behind the pearly gates...as she walks through he jumps out to scare her or throws something at her....and she will scream, "Oh honestly, Lawrence!!!" I like to think that there will be a huge heavenly buffet (not an earthly buffet because I hate those), and she will eat and be able to taste and savor and swallow every bite. That sounds a little like gluttony...I don't know how to make it sound any different. There must be food tasting in heaven! And the whole time Granky will be as silent and sneaky as he always was...putting cucumbers in her mashed potatoes and salt and pepper in her milk, and stand a knife right in the middle of her slice of cake. He was always wild at the dinner table.

Today I am thankful for an outlet. Writing this has been a huge stress relieving, grief therapy session for me.

11 comments:

  1. Very nice tribute to your Nanny D! She would be honored I'm sure! I love the 5 generation photo..glad you got it taken!

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  2. So sorry for your loss, Rianne. And you described Lawrence and Evelyn to a "T"! How nice to have all those memories. I remember what a tease he was and can see him scaring her and I can actually hear her saying what you quoted! Too funny.

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  3. I can't put a heart big enough on this post! <3

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  4. A wonderful tribute to a truly wonderful lady, Rianne. What a heritage you have!

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  5. What perfect words for a wonderful Nannie D. <3 Joan

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  6. This is just perfect Rianne. <3 Nichole

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  7. I'm sorry, Rianne. Life is never quite the same when you lose someone that special.

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  8. I met her at Marshall's. My mom was in there and we would all be in the activity room for music or crafts or whatever they had going on and we would talk to Evelyn. She was a sweet lady. My mom passed away in November while in the hospital and I remember seeing your family there down the hall when I would go in to visit my Mom. I knew then she was getting sicker. I am so sorry for your loss. I have met so many wonderful people while my Mom was living in Marshall's and they all came to be like family to me. It is such a great loss when any of them pass. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  9. You are a gem, and they helped polish you...thanks for sharing. I cried with joy for them to both be reunited. Keep writing, words heal. Audrey Jones

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  10. Absolutely love this post <3 What a way to remember her, thank you for sharing about this amazing woman <3

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  11. Rianne, that was an amazing tribute to your great grandmother. I did not know that she passed away and I am sorry for your loss. I also knew Nan' and Granky and they were amazing people. Its what you said about her laugh and kind smirk that would light up a room. She truly was one of the nicest person that I ever met in my life. I also remember Granky the man of few words some times and he would always play pranks on Nan or anyone in the room sometimes. I would also agree that they are finally back together again in Heaven and they only want the best for every person that they met. You are a great writer and I look forward to your other postings

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